PixVox

Unfortunately, male pattern baldness does not run in my family. That means, well into my middle years, I still have enough sprouting up there to occasionally read what’s going down in DC, grab two handfuls, scream at the top of my lungs and pull with all my might.

Here’s a zinger I stumbled on today while reading Bloomberg news. For those of you with hair, I suggest you put on a tight fitting hat before reading.

During the course of crafting the new stimulus bill in Congress, lawmakers yesterday approved an amendment to fix the troubled HOPE for Homeowners program. Sounds like a good idea. And you gotta love the handle for the initiative, HOPE for Homeowners. I guess a couple of copywriters leaked out of Madison Ave and made their way to the Capitol. The program was part of the TARP legislation created last year to let homeowners struggling with subprime loans refinance into fixed-rate loans backed by the government. It was designed, targeted and budgeted to help 400,000 mortgage borrowers.

Here is where you might want to grab the bill of your cap and give it a firm tug. Care to guess how many people have actually qualified for the program since October? Exactly 24. TWENTY-FOUR! Are you kidding me? Out of a goal of 400,000? That is 0.006% of the original target. And there is no shortage in of homeowners in this country looking for HOPE.

I had a basketball coach who once turned to one of our star forwards in the locker room during half time of a big game and announced that he had ZERO rebounds for the first half. He reminded the player he was “tied with a dead guy for first half boards.” 24 loans against a target of 400,000 is the equivalent of “tied with a dead guy”.

And to make matters worse, we can only assume that serious bureaucrats, subcommittee members, congressional aides, and expert witnesses from the mortgage banking industry all weighed in on this plan before it was incorporated into TARP. They could have brought in the night janitorial crew at the Capitol and done no worse.

And now in a fresh moment of clarity  lawmakers believe the program is under performing because the terms to enroll were too tough. Ya think?

I’m genuinely enthusiastic about the future of our country. There is a crisp new generation taking the reins; optimism and transparancy are in the air. Things are going to work out in the long run. But for the short haul, I just hope the old players we still have on the court have enough gas in the tank to get the job done. Or at least grab one rebound in the second half.

"I sang backup for Janis in '68"

America has a personnel management problem. The personnel in question; the ever present boomer generation, the 7 million of us born between 1946 and 1964. And the management problem is just what to do with us as we ease into our twilight years. As with everything else related to this generation, the numbers are big. And the solution is popping up all around the country in ever growing numbers, Boomer Barns. They’re being built in every suburb, city and small town in the country. And before you can say Electric Kool Aid Acid Test, they’ll be chocked full of boomers. Right now, they’re testing the plumbing with today’s seniors. But trust me, the big prize in the retirement center game is the boomers. And they’re coming in droves.

The Woodstock generation is poised to trade in their VW buses for Power Scooters and gently cruise into that final Be In. And you can bet your original vinyl of Highway 61 Revisited, Whispering Pines will be retooled to welcome these wrinkled flower children.

Whispering Pines will be renamed The Farm. Gone will be knitting and needlepoint circles, replaced by macrame and tie dye classes. The dining room once filled with the aroma of pot roast and potatoes will be replaced with vegan dishes made from organic veggies grown in the People’s Garden. And physical therapy will no doubt be replaced by group therapy for those who still can’t sort out their place in the universe. Movie nights, once jammed with gray hairs marveling at Fred and Ginger’s dance steps, will feature Easy Rider, The Graduate and 2001 A Space Odyssey. The later follows a late night dessert of oregano brownies, perfect for improved digestion.

Brothers and sisters at The Farm will gather in small groups to complain about the cost of healthcare, compare surgery scars and lie about being in the front row at Monterey Pops when Jimi torched his Strat. And oh yes, much like previous generations, they’ll wonder why the kids don’t come to visit more often. Maybe the kids will be tired of hearing how cool it was back in the day. Because, maybe it just wasn’t that cool.

Sign the petition…

The events of the last few weeks have left many Americans anxious and fearful. Nothing stirs emotions quite like losing money. And Americans have lost a boatload. The financial gains they’ve made over the last 5 -10 years have disappeared. Seniors on fixed incomes are reassessing retirement and many will have to return to work. More and more jobs are being lost. No doubt, this has been tough and it will probably get much tougher.

But in the last week we’ve seen fear start to bubble to the surface as anger. We’ve seen it in a number of political rallies. Faithful supporters screaming at the top of their lungs, calling for tougher language, and in some cases violence. Some have suggested it’s reminiscent of other dark periods in our history.

Even the press has subtly jumped in on the action. CNN has introduced on Anderson Cooper 360 a feature called 10 Most Wanted:Culprits of the Collapse. On each of ten nights they feature a different baron of Wall Street or Fed official pictured on a wanted poster. It’s wrapped in a western motif, usually reserved in the 1800’s for train robbers and murderers. CNN even includes a nifty graphic element; as each bandito appears on their respective wanted poster, a gun sight cross hair descends over their face. I’m not sure, but maybe CNN and Anderson Cooper are suggesting we round these guys up, grab a rope and exact a little frontier justice.

We may be inching toward something potentially dangerous. When events like these create real fear and we add the element of rage, it inevitably leads to violence. You don’t have to go too far back to see the results of rampaging violence that was stoked by fear and anger. Germany is the obvious benchmark, but many other examples can be traced to virtually every corner of the globe. It’s something in our DNA, that once unleashed can take the loss of assets and turn it into the loss of life.

These are dangerous times, but having the press stoke the fire doesn’t help. If you disagree, drop me a line. If you agree, let Anderson Cooper know. Here’s a link.

http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form5.html?10